Procrastination. Such a long and heavy word. Ppprrrooocccrrraaassstttiiinnnaaatttiiiooonnn. Just the sound of it sound so heavy. Even just looking at the word makes it feel so weighting on your brain.
What? Is it just me?
Okay fine then.
See? I’m doing it again! Procrastinating on my blogs!
After I had gotten my concussion and was told not to do anything I couldn’t find the inspiration to actually start blogging. Actually it was more like I just couldn’t find the right words to post a blog. Like what I’m doing now. I keep pausing! Also for the fact that now I actually look back and reflect on my 12 years of life, I keep finding those re-occurring memories that make me want to cringe and hide in the corner or just sit in a ball about to cry.
Why am I now (out of all the times) looking back at my life?
Last month I’ve been in a series of flame wars and verbal “fights” about possibly the most stupidest thing possible. And to make it worse some “fights” were with my “friends”. I was being as nice as possible, held my anger behind a large brick wall, and tried to back out of them all. But yet they kept hitting me, full force, with insults, f-bombs, b-bombs, and stupid comebacks. I mostly hid my feeling and wrote them out so I wouldn’t keep it all bottled up. I didn’t want anyone to worry about me, so I haven’t necessarily told anyone until now (that I put it out for the whole world to see.) I had nothing nice, or heartwarming, or good in general about my life, and not wanting anyone to feel pity or to feel sorry about me, I didn’t post anything. I kept my head held high and let my optimistic side auto-pilot. But it’s all okay now, so don’t worry about it!
To try and cheer myself up, I tried to think of happy thoughts or happy past memories. Needless to say, it did help a little. But for the fact that I had come to realize that my past life in school sucked.
So if any of you guys are wondering why the “blog queen of 2013” has less than 10 blogs, this is a small explanation why (along with homework, my email not working, and total stupidness) I don’t have that many blogs… Yet.