Yesterday I had the normal black belt 2 hour morning workout on the Eastside here in Gresham and then an afternoon black belt prep class on the Westside. The morning session was tough and tiring but fine although I'm dealing with some continued memory issues on some of the footwork and a physical issue with bilateral arm pain due to tennis elbow which severely effects the strength and snap needed to properly execute forms. This is not something I could have predicted would be a hindrance to me in this test. A sprained foot, sure but arm pain?? The afternoon session was not so good. I somehow lost balance on every form. We ran through each one twice and I always thought with the next go round I'd perfect it but ended up messing it up over and over. All in all it made me question my worthiness of these tests. I'm pretty sure this isn't how it was supposed to be and wondering if I'm actually cut out for this. I am trying to cut my self a little slack and realize that fatigue from the morning session could have added to the afternoon session on top of other physical issues contributing but non the less it makes me feel less than worthy. So here I am, a little over a month away from the final tests feeling more discouraged than ever. Fortunately for me I am not one to give up on anything that I put my mind to. At this point my own will power is the only thing supporting me getting my head back in the game. I truly hope everything for everyone else is going well. As for now I will see you back on the mat starting tomorrow.